The Sugar Coated Side of Life

Asparagus Soup

2010-12-30T11:53:00.005-05:00

I am not the type of girl that loves asparagus. It is something green I eat occasionally because I know it is good for me, so when I made asparagus soup I was very leery about how it would taste. Seriously gross were my thoughts.

However, as soon as I put the spoon to my lips my taste buds were in heaven! I wanted to grab a straw and suck the whole pot down! My husband had the same reaction.

Asparagus Soup

1bl young asparagus (thinner are less bitter)
3 tablespoons butter*
6 shallots (or 1/4 cup onion), sliced
1 tablespoon flour
2 1/2 cups veg stock or water (we used veg stock w/o tomatoes)
1 tablespoon lemon juice

Wash the asparagus and break off bottom of stock. (Hold the bottom and bend it. Where it breaks is where it is less tough and fibrous.) Break the rest into 1-2 inch pieces.

Melt butter in large pan and saute the sliced shallots for 2-3 minutes until soft. Add asparagus and saute over low heat for 1 minute.

Stir in the flour and cook for 1 minute. Stir in the stock or water and lemon juice and season with salt and pepper. Bring to a boil and simmer for 15-20 minutes until asparagus is tender.

Cool slightly and process the soup in a food processor or blender until smooth. Enjoy!

The whole recipe has approx 400 calories.

*This could easily be made vegan without the butter. It changes the flavor slightly, but it is still good.

Homeschooling Day 2

2010-11-30T16:16:00.004-05:00

Today was another good day of homeschooling. Kristofer started on his work right away and was done at 8:30am. He thinks it is so cool he gets done long before the kids at school get out.

It is amazing to me how much I can visibly see that his stress is reduced. It is like he is a different kid. He is very loving and kind and reaching out for affection instead of pushing me away.

The boys had a good time practicing team work while playing Lincoln Logs. Some things you can't learn in a text book.

First Day of Homeschool

2010-11-29T08:53:00.007-05:00

We have decided to homeschool Kristofer and our decision to homeschool was not taken lightly. In fact, as a former homeschooler I had no desire to put the burden of my children's education on my shoulders. Seriously, I have enough on there just trying to raise them right.

However, as the school year has progressed we are noticing the lack of family time and as a result there are unpleasant behaviors. When a child is needing attention they will get it however even if it means using a negative approach.

A few things I have read along the way was Arleta James' blog post about schooling, Christine'sblog post about unschooling and this article about socialization.

For our curriculum I am using what the school gave me that we had already paid for. It covers math, spelling and language arts and for everything else we are using books from the library. In first grade it is all about making it fun and hands on.

After one day of homeschooling I am so happy with our decision and can't wait to see where this leads us.

2010-08-27T15:09:00.004-04:00

I had to take a picture of London today when we were heading out the door to pick up Kristofer. I mean really, who is cuter than this?! And lets not forget his stellar red carpet look. It is definitely the training pants hanging out that make this outfit. Wait, maybe it is the white socks. You decide!

Guess what Kristofer learned at school today?

Yep, he learned how to make spit wads.

Today I am getting sneaky in the kitchen!

2010-08-26T11:09:00.009-04:00

Yesterday, I made a vegetarian chili and today I decided to add some pureed spinach to it for lunch. I am having a hard time getting good veggies into my kids so I thought I'd see if they noticed.

While I was heating the chili in a pan I put the spinach in the blender with a 1/2 cup cold chili and blended away.

When the chili was heated, but not boiling I added the spinach/chili mixture and heated until just warm. This way the nutrients do not get cooked out and the taste of the spinach was undetected.

"Mmm, YUMMY!" Says the boy who will not eat green!

I learned all my deceptiveness from Jessica Seinfeld and you can too in her cookbook Deceptively Delicious!

You know you are a mom of boys when...

2010-08-24T13:01:00.004-04:00

In our family we call the penis a winky. Why? I have no idea. That is just what we do. This past weekend we started calling it by the correct name and the boys got a good laugh about it. I guess it sounds funny to them.

Today, Kolton was waiting his turn to use the bathroom and said, "Mommy! I'm holding my peanuts!"

Why Love Isn't Enough: Part Three

2010-08-24T08:31:00.001-04:00

Why Love Isn't Enough: Part Three Check it out and educate yourself!

How Full Is your Bucket?

2010-08-23T21:49:00.003-04:00

The book How Full Is Your Bucket? For Kids by Tom Rath is a great way for kids to see how our emotional bucket is affected by others around us and how we treat others. I am hoping that by reading it to our boys they will see how treating others the way you want to be treated is truly the right thing to do.

Why Love Isn't Enough! Part Two

2010-08-22T22:17:00.001-04:00

Check out Arleta's Blog post: Why Love Isn't Enough: Part Two. There is a lot of good information there.

Children's Book-Horace

2010-08-19T11:50:00.001-04:00

This looks like a great children's book about adoption and fitting in.

Why Love Isn't Enough! Part One

2010-08-19T08:46:00.004-04:00

Check out this blog series written by Arleta James.

She is a phenomenal therapist who works at the Attachment and Bonding Center of Ohio and has helped our family tremendously in the past 7 months.

He thinks I'm squishy.

2010-08-18T22:51:00.006-04:00

Kristofer woke up to go to the bathroom this evening and when he came out I carried him back to his room. He snuggled into me and was rubbing his hands on my upper arms and said, "Mama, you are so lovable because you are squishy and cold, and warm, and squishy and just nice to love on." My heart just melted. Who knew that being called squishy could be such a compliment?

In the past few weeks I have noticed some some real progress with Kristofer and his attachment to me. He is smiling at me more, having less disrespectful talk, reaching out for love and affection, and opening up and talking to me.

Before his brothers came home, I believe he was very attached, but in the course of trying to help his brothers attach his emotional needs were not being met. This caused us to have some detachment in our relationship. I am so thankful things are on the mend and I am thrilled to have my lovable boy back.

You might be too big to rock...

2010-08-15T21:06:00.004-04:00

...if your feet touch the floor and you can help do the rocking.

He kept snuggling deeper and I didn't have the heart to shoo him to bed. He is such a snuggle bug. Sigh...

I think I can.

2010-08-15T09:22:00.006-04:00

One if my guys likes to scream and cry and say, "I can't" when he is trying to do something that takes a little effort. Sometimes he whips out the fussing even when it is something he knows how to do.

Last night when I was reading stories I decided to read The Little Engine That Could. I think we need to read this more often to help encourage them to try harder even when it looks difficult.

My Homemade Happiness: You Know You're A Mom of Boys When...

2010-08-14T14:58:00.001-04:00

My Homemade Happiness: You Know You're A Mom of Boys When...

You go to open the fridge and this is what you find.

2010-08-13T09:28:00.000-04:00

Check out: Why Love Is Not Enough.

2010-08-10T13:05:00.010-04:00

Kristofer had a behavioral blow up last night and what it came down to was not being able to spend much time with mommy.

I try every day, when he gets home from school, to be attentive to him, but one of his brothers works his hardest to not let it happen. Said brother will throw a fit, and you might think it is easy to blow off, but he screams in our ears, destroys the house, or tries to run outside which of course puts the attention on him. Arleta's blog post explains why this happens with said brother.

I decided to make a special date with Kristofer tonight so I wrote him a note.

When he got home I sent him to the mailbox to get it and he was so excited. After he read it we had this conversation:

K: Mommy, what is a date?

Me: A date is when you go do something together. Like papa and I will go to dinner or a movie by ourselves.

K: Oh, so are we going to go to dinner together and that is a date.

Me: Yes.

Kristofer was so sweet to me for the rest of the day and open for hugs, loves and kisses.

We went to our favorite restaurant and had a good time together. Kristofer opened up to me about school and we had some good conversations. It was really sweet because he opened the doors for me and held my hand. He has a hold of my heart pretty tight. Sigh...

2010-07-15T23:28:00.004-04:00

This is a video of the boys swimming in the pool for the first time without me. Normally, I am in the pool and they swim to my hand. I am so proud of them and they are awesome swimmers.

The audio from me is a little loud so watch your volume.

2010-06-23T21:38:00.022-04:00

Today we loaded up and headed into Louisville to have lunch at a hot dog stand and go to the Science Center. The boys thought it was fun to get the hot dogs and it brought back childhood memories for me.

In the middle of eating in the park we had to pack it up and run back to the van. I forgot to put money in the meter. Clearly, we do not head to the "big city" often.

We ate lunch in the park nearby.

After we ate lunch, we drove a few blocks to the Science Center and after we parked we had a grand adventure walking down the street.

First we checked out the man on the bench...

Then we discovered the drains in the sidewalk...

Stopped to take a cool picture on the fence...

And found a bat on the sidewalk to take a picture with. Then we made it to our destination.

Kristofer was on the go so it was hard to get his picture.

London the Pilot

Kolton had a grand time dressing in the Dr. coat and pushing the baby and groceries around.

London is working hard to put the belt buckle together.

And now our favorite part, the water tables. Kristofer loves to put pipe together and watch the water flow.

London was having a grand time sticking the sponges on the wall.

On our way out the boys had to dance a jig in front of the mirrors.

Ah, it was a good day.

2010-05-10T08:46:00.003-04:00

This Breakfast Parfait is now my favorite breakfast. I got the recipe from jillianmichaels.com and I love it because it is 210 calories for a large serving, it gives me good energy, and keeps me full for 4+ hours.

16 ounce(s) yogurt, fat-free, Greek-style, plain
2 cup(s) cereal, flax, such as Nature's Path
1 cup(s) blueberries, fresh or defrosted frozen
1 cup(s) strawberries, fresh or defrosted frozen
4 teaspoon honey
4 teaspoon nuts, almonds, slivers
1 medium orange(s), peeled and thinly sliced

In 4 small bowls or large cups, place 2 ounces of yogurt to line the bottom. Layer 1/2 cup cereal, 1/4 cup of each berry, and 1 teaspoon of honey. Cover with another layer of yogurt (2 ounces per bowl or cup each), and top each parfait with 1 teaspoon of almonds and 2 to 3 orange slices.
Serve cold. Serves 4

Per serving
210 calories
2g. fat
7g. fiber

2010-05-09T14:58:00.003-04:00

Happy Mother's Day!!!

Today, my guys spoiled me with a gift card to Coffee Crossings Coffee Shop. Thank you!

Today is bitter sweet for me. I love to mother my boys, but I can't help thinking about their feelings today and their birthmothers. I am grateful to their birthmothers for giving them life and to their birthmothers I say thank you for entrusting me with the job of raising their child. I love you boys and I can't imagine life without you. You three are so precious to me.

The Woman I Never Met

There is a woman out there,
One I do not know
She gave me a precious gift
My son I love so dear

I say a prayer of thanks
And one for her as well
There is possibly a hole
In her heart that can't be filled

Thank you dear sister
For giving me your son
This is a gift I can not repay
For it is a special one.

God entrusted his care
Into my arms that day
And as I said before
This is a gift I can not repay.
© 2003 Kari Hunt

2010-05-03T19:58:00.001-04:00

Kristofer and I's conversation when I picked him up from school today.

Kristofer: "Mom, on Wednesday Roman said I could be his BFF and BFF's get to go to his house!

Me: "That's awesome Kristofer. Do you know what a BFF is?"

Kristofer: "No."

LMAO!!! I thought this started in the tween years or something. Not kindergarten!

2009-11-28T10:04:00.003-05:00

We put up the Christmas tree today and I was amazed at how fast London became stressed and over stimulated. Kelly brought in our little people nativity and the pieces of our prelit tree and London was pinging!

As Kelly was putting the tree together I pointed out to him London was getting more and more overstimulated. Kelly stopped and put London on his lap and started talking calm to him. London's whole body was shaking. I did not expect him to get stimulated to this extent. We had prepped the boys about the decorations and tree, but I guess it was not enough.

He became even more uncoordinated, his moves were jerky, and his chatter was rapid and non-stop. By the time bedtime came around Kelly and I were exhausted!

I tried to read the boys a story and they were all pinging and could not focus. I put the book down and started doing deep pressure pushing from elbow to wrist and then ankle to knee. Amazingly enough it worked on all three and they were able to focus on the story. London was able to stop chattering that he had not been able to control all day. Interesting...

2009-11-27T10:54:00.005-05:00

Well, I am back to blogging after a very long break. Unfortunately I just didn't have it in me and when the boys go to bed at 7pm I flop on the couch mentally exhausted. Here recently I have gotten my mojo back! If I find the time I might publish some older posts I started and never finished.

I felt back in July the boys had made progress over the past year and then Kristofer started kindergarten on July 29th and London reverted back almost to day one. It was at that point I threw up my hands and said, "Clearly, I am not doing something right and gave up until we could get to The Attachment and Bonding Center of Ohio. (abcofohio.net) This center is ran by Dr. Gregory Keck who wrote Adopting the Hurt Child and Parenting the Hurt Child. We go on Monday, November 30th for an evaluation and from there we will set up therapy with Arleta James. I have been following a family's blog who has been seeing her since November of last year and has had great results.

I have decided to blog about this to help other adoptive families as well as keep our family and friends updated. Here our some of our concerns:

London
*Still tantrums every morning Kelly leaves for work. I think there is great fear Kelly will never come back.
*Very oppositional and disagreeable.
*Not as attached to me as he should be. This is typical because all the women he has known in his life (birth mother and orphanage workers) have left his life so he is just waiting for me to walk out of his life too. Not to mention we went to Russia twice to visit and then finally brought him home with us. Essentially we already walked out twice on him.
*Likes to control
*Has great fear of never eating again.
*Gets over stimulated very easily causing tantrums.
*Chatters non-stop and is very repetitive. If he asked for juice he keeps asking over and over until it is in his hand. This makes for a very stressful environment for those around him.
*Can not relax. When I am walking to the living room after he wakes up from nap he puts his head on my shoulder and twists so he can see what is coming.
*Very fearful of anything and everything new. Cries or tantrums over it.
*Is so demanding and controling of attention it is hard to focus on Kristofer and Kolton's needs.

Kristofer
*Gets very stressed when his brother tantrums and we need help bringing his stress down.
*Likes to control
*Back talking a lot.

Kolton
*Has trouble with eye contact.
*Is getting attached, but I don't think he is fully there.

2009-06-30T20:49:00.004-04:00

Are we potty training?

It started with London wanting to sit on the potty and then Kolton wanted to as well. They both got stickers for it and then they did it again in the afternoon. Kolton even peed a little. Wooohoo! If we don't have to buy diapers anymore that would be awesome!

2009-06-22T16:17:00.007-04:00

So tootin funny!

**Warning: Don't take a drink while reading this. You might spit it out!**

London and Kristofer were sitting on the same side of the table at snack. There was a toot that happened and I thought it was London but it was really loud and juicy and Kristofer claimed it. (I guess it was too good to pass up.) A few minutes later the smell overcame Kristofer and he ran from the table gagging. I told him, "I guess it is a little hard to claim a stinky toot that is not yours." He agreed! I laughed until I cried on that one!

I love raising my boys!

2009-06-21T21:02:00.005-04:00

Camping at Spring Mill

We took the boys camping and met up with some friends of ours. It was a good thing since our trip started out so rocky. The map was read wrong and we went a good hour out of our way as well as taking a wrong turn and having to backtrack. By the time we arrived at our camp it was well after dark and at the check-in station they were tracking severe weather on the radar.

Thankfully our friends have a camper and said we could just sleep in there for the night. It ended up storming pretty heavily and the boys slept through it. I was so glad we did not bother setting up our tent that night because the others got flooded.

We really had a great time hanging with our friends.

The boys eating breakfast.

Taking a lunch break.

Kristofer helping set up the tent for the second night.

2009-06-02T22:02:00.009-04:00

Kristofer lost his first tooth today!

We were sitting around the table eating lunch and our occupational therapist Heather was there and Kristofer was not eating much and moaning that he was done. I kept prodding him to eat because he needs it. Heather realized what the problem was. The problem tooth needed to come out. Sure enough I gave a tug and out it came and he was able to eat again. The tooth had barely been hanging on.

He was so excited to leave the tooth for the Tooth Fairy.

He was trying so hard to go to sleep fast.

2009-05-31T23:20:00.007-04:00

What a relaxing Sunday we had.

The weather was so wonderful we had lunch on the porch.

After naps we put on our swim clothes and played in the pool and sprinkler. I don't have many pictures because the battery on the camera went dead.

I bought London some dairy free ice cream and he got to try it tonight for dessert.
After I gave it to him he kept saying, "Happy. Happy." I am pretty sure this was their first ice cream experience.

Papa being funny.

London was saying, "Mmm." when I took this picture. Now that is pure bliss!

After dinner the boys jumped on the trampoline for a few minutes and then it was off to the bath and bed. Today was a wonderful day!

2009-05-30T19:16:00.005-04:00

Huge Milestone For London

Tonight London actually closed the bathtub doors to splash! This is HUGE for him! Normally, if someone even acts like they are going to slide the tub doors closed he panics.

Tonight he was the only one in the tub and wanted to splash. We coaxed him into closing them and showed him he could open them right back up if he wanted to. He had so much fun splashing and then opening the door and playing peak-a-boo. It was so cute. I love that boy's smile!

2009-05-29T20:50:00.008-04:00

Kristofer is growing up

Tuesday his front tooth became lose. It shocked me because I did not expect him to start losing them for another year at least. I could tell he was unsure/nervous/scared about it and so I had him sit on my lap and I just snuggled him and babied him for a bit. I suggested we read a story and picked on off the stack from the library, One Morning In Maine by Robert McCloskey. It just so happens that it is about a little girl who wakes up with a lose tooth. I think he felt better about it after that.

Wiggling it just a little bit.

He thought maybe he could floss it out. Too cute.

Getting a good look at it in the mirror.

It is making taking bites a bit hard.

************************************************************************************
Instead of preschool his class had a picnic at a local park. Papa got to join us and we had a great time.

The preschool class singing Father Welcomes All His Children.
They did a great job.

I knew Kristofer was strong and a pretty fast runner, but he was blowing all the kids away pushing the merry-go-round. While he was still pushing they were dropping off because they could not keep up.

Is he not the most adorable 5-year-old you have ever seen?

Kolton and London had a great time playing too.

Kolton and London were trying their hardest to follow their big brother Kristofer.

Enjoying some yummy rice krispy treats.

I don't remember what this is called, but the kids had a grand time flipping it and running under.

2009-05-27T13:26:00.006-04:00

It was a good test.

Over the weekend we started London on a blood sugar regulator. I kept suspecting his eating so fast was related to low blood sugar just by little signs he was showing. When we give him the supplement at night he still wants to eat fast for breakfast, but his other snacks and meals are eaten with leisure. For the first time since coming home in July he was the last person to finish eating. Success!

Last night the supplement was missed and today we had amazing food setbacks. At snack he was eating so fast he was almost choking and when I told him to slow down and chew he went into a rage throwing his food. I gave him the supplement right then and by lunch he was eating leisurely again. Amazing stuff!

2009-05-19T09:14:00.005-04:00

We have weight gain and grow spurts!!!

The new foods are paying off and London is gaining. I am so thankful for this because it was very scary back in January watching him waste away. Sasha is getting thick again like he was when we picked him up and really filling out. He has had a grow spurt too! Normally I have to roll his pant legs so he does not walk on them when his shoes are off. I put them on and realized they were resting on the top of his foot like they should. He looks so cute and healthy with that added weight.

I normally feed Kolton and London the same foods, but I have to make small changes because Kolton can have dairy and wheat and is gaining and growing appropriately. I had added peanut butter to everything I could and realized that Kolton was gaining a ton more weight. I spread his peanut butter thin and he has pretzels instead of pork rinds. London gets a nice layer of peanut butter on his Ezekiel bread.

2009-05-14T08:35:00.008-04:00

Paint with Water and Sidewalk Chalk

Who knew painting with a paint brush and plain water could be so much fun. Our occupational therapist brought it on Tuesday and the boys had a grand time with it. I think we will be doing this a lot in the summertime.

*********************************************************************************Kolton was insisting that Elmo had a poopy diaper so here he is being the nurturing parent and changing it.

The boys helped Kelly plant the garden and had a great time.

***********************************************************************************
Along with London obsessing on a word he as added "now" after it. While waiting for his eggs to cook we hear "eggs now!" over and over. I'd like some magic answer for handling this. Ok, I know the obvious is making him say please, which I do, but I am talking about the repetitive talking.

2009-05-13T09:40:00.007-04:00

London's New Diet

I took London to the doctor for another weight check last Thursday and he only gained 3 oz. since his weight check 6 weeks ago. Dr. Stucker was not happy with the weight gain so she asked that I write down everything I am feeding him and count the calories. Then she wanted me to make a revised diet to match 1,000 calories a day. Here it is:

Old Food Menu

Breakfast
Oatmeal with blueberries or scrambled eggs
1/2 banana (large)

Snack
Cinnamon Raisin Ezek. bread

Lunch
Hot Dog
Peas
Carrots

Dinner
1/2 chicken breast, pork chop or other meat grilled
Veggie

Total Calories: Approx 670

Current Food Menu

Breakfast
Oatmeal w/ blueberries and coconut oil
or 2 eggs with butter
1/2 banana (large)

Snack
Cinnamon raisin Ezek break with peanut butter
8 oz chocolate soy milk

Lunch
4 meatballs
Hashbrowns (fried)
veggie with butter

Snack
Pork skins
Fruit
(will add more milk at snack as he adjusts to it.)

Dinner
Hamburger, pork chops or chicken
Hashbrowns or tater tots
veggie with butter

Calories: 1200-1600

I want to clarify that the old diet did not have enough calories, BUT I was filling his plate so his tummy was full. He just needs more calories because he is an active boy. This is proving to be difficult since he can not have wheat and dairy.

I have introduced soy milk this week and I am wondering if it is not agreeing with him and affecting his emotions. For the past several weeks he has been doing better than normal. This week he is crying and tantruming at the drop of a hat. We may have to take him to see a GI specialist after all. Poor little guy.

2009-05-10T23:34:00.012-04:00

Mother's Day

To all mothers Happy Mother's Day!

This was my first Mother's Day celebrating with THREE boys! I had a good day with my family and got a wonderful present, flowers and cards.

Kristofer made the grand entrance with the vase...

Next came each boy with their rose for me...

Kristofer was excited to give me the card he made at school.

Kolton came squealing out with the card Kelly bought...

and London was a dear boy and got me a Zune (like an ipod) so I do not have to listen to his tantrums. Wasn't that sweet of him?

I am so blessed to have these three beautiful boys.
**********************************************************************************
After the boys gave me all my wonderful things we had a nice lazy Sunday. My parents and nephew Austin came over and we all had a good time.

London loves to be thrown in the air and kept asking for more.

Kolton found a wonderful worm to play with.

Pa and Kristofer playing ball and Austin helping London do a cool swing kick.

And at the end of the day Pa gave a pony ride back to their beds.
It was a good ending to a wonderful day!

2009-05-08T21:01:00.003-04:00

The affects of cribbing.

London was chatting away in his bed tonight so I walked back there to make sure he was ok. Lately he has been having a bowel movement and then falling asleep and we don't catch it until we go to bed at 11pm. Not too fun to change at that point.

I asked him if he had a dirty diaper and he said, "yes" but he didn't. I laid him back down and decided to gently rub my hand down his hair and face. When I put my hand in the crib his breathing changed to very rapid. (stress) Poor little baby was scared of what I might do. His breathing calmed as I stroked his face and his eyes started to close. London is still a very highly stressed child. It breaks my heart how much he must have been cribbed or possibly abused due to his irritability.

Speaking if his irritability we had two really good weeks three weeks ago. London would have a little tantrum at breakfast and then it would be over for the day. He interacted well with all of us during the day and would laugh, joke and play around. I think I was able to get a little more into his heart and he was opening up to me.

On Thursday April 30th Kelly had Kolton and was playing round with him and kissing and tickling him. London ran to me hoping for the same treatment which I did. When I put him back on the floor he put his hands up to me and asked for more. This was HUGE since he did that with Kelly in the room and Kelly holding Kolton. Normally he stands as close to Kelly as he can and tries his hardest to take Kelly's attention. We are making attachment headway!!!
************************************************************************************

Sunday we did have a setback which affected the while family for this week. We went to a birthday party and it caused London to come home very irritable. We think it was a combination of being around lots of people (stress) and I fed him a few bites of cake. We have had London allergy tested, but even though it came back negative he can't keep milk or wheat down. No sooner was I done feeding him the little bites of cake and it came back up. It was a good test, but the next day he refluxed all day. I felt so bad and I will not do that again.

Kristofer was having a hard time at the party and sat on my lap most of the time. I have a hard time getting him to slow down at home and just sit and cuddle with me so I told him it was nice to have some snuggle time and I loved him. I don't know how the conversation went after that, but then he said, "Yeah, you love my brothers more than me." Man, it broke my heart and I had to choke back the tears. I try so incredibly hard to treat them equal and I have been making a big effort to ignore the little ones and give Kristofer my undivided attention when he is talking to me or needs me. I guess it is something I need to work harder on during the day. I told him right then that I loved them all the same and I loved him more than he would ever know.

For the rest of the week he really tested me with his behavior. I cracked down on disipline and giving him good positive attention as well. Even his teacher had a hard time with him, but today she said he was better. I agree that the behavior has gotten better as the week has gone on.

I have been more nurturing lately and I think it has helped over all with all three boys. Sometimes I expect Kristofer to be a little adult and I have to remember he is a child. I have been diving back into my adoption books and that helps, but the ultimate role model I have in nurturing and caring is God and Jesus. I have a long way to go, but I have Christ on my side and I am doing a better job. I love my boys so much.

2009-04-29T10:42:00.005-04:00

April 5, 2009

We spent Palm Sunday with Kelly's parents and attended Hobbs Christian. It was the opening of the new education wing and they held Sunday School class for the children for the first time in many years. It was exciting to be there and celebrate with the congregation.
Somehow we did not get one picture of Kristofer. He was having too much fun running around and playing.

Having a snack in the pew.

Having a cookie. Yum!

Grandma O playing with the boys.

London supervising Grandma O cutting her cherry pie.

The family sitting for dinner.

************************************************************************************

Kristofer got to stay at Grammy and Pa's house until Thursday. He was feeling pretty special that he got invited and his brothers did not.

One day Kristofer spotted their Easter presents in the closet and Grammy told him he had to wait until Easter to see. Later in the day he told Grammy he was ready to go home. When she asked him why he said, "It's just not working out." Grammy let him look at the book, but told him he had to act surprised on Easter.

2009-04-29T09:29:00.007-04:00

April 2, 2004 Zoo, First Haircut, etc...

Kristofer with his friend Noah.

Noah's little sister Emily.

The train is a must see at the zoo.

Hanging out watching the penguins.

Kolton's first haircut. We had previously trimmed his bangs so they would not be in his eyes. This time is was a full cut. Thanks Auntie!

Kristofer is quite the handyman. He can change the batteries by himself.

Kristofer got to enjoy his first Surf and Turf dinner with mama and papa. He liked the crab legs.

2009-04-08T08:31:00.001-04:00

This verse keeps popping up on me when I read people's posts online. The latest was a friends status on facebook. I'm beginning to think God wants me to remember this verse. What do you think?

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." – Galatians 6:9

I am not giving up on my boys. God's love is stronger than any pain and trauma they have endured and it will heal all wounds. In the name of Jesus.

2009-04-07T13:19:00.000-04:00

Kristofer is registered for Kindergarten!

Wow, this is so exciting, scary and sad all at once for me. His class will go all day which I am wondering what kind of a toll that will take on him. Right now pre-k is only 3 days a week for 2 ½ hours.

I think Kelly and I had some high emotions going on last night that we didn’t realize. We were both a little edgy and snappy. It didn’t help that London is a tantruming mess right now because Mama and Papa are taking control! We are ignoring his negative behavior and rewarding the positive, but it does come at a price. The negative behavior increases. I have faith that it will get better London is just testing us. He has thrived on chaos for so long he is lost without it.

Last night we did our usual ritual of praying with the boys and then we hold them and I sing Rock-a-by baby and Jesus, Name above all Names. Every night we try to switch the boys between us and last night I had London. Normally, after I start singing he gives up his tantrum (because he wants Kelly) and lays his head on my shoulder. He pulled back and screamed as loud as he could and would not stop last night. The anger boiled up in me a bit and I just set him in his crib and walked out. I went to the living room and just cried. There is only so much rejection you can take from one little guy and then it just stabs you in the heart.

I can see the good in this though because it is giving me a taste of the rejection he has felt all his life. It makes me compassionate and want to retrain his thought process and get him to love me like he has never had before. Rejection is crushing and to think of all he has had to endure his whole life just breaks by heart. He is so loved here in this home and he has no idea.

My daily prayer is for God’s love to shine through me so my children can feel the Ultimate Love of all and to help me be the best mother I can be to these boys.

2009-04-02T21:08:00.001-04:00

Last night we had cheeseburgers for dinner. Kolton’s is a meat patty with cheese and London’s is just a meat patty because he cannot keep milk products down. The big bottle of mustard was near London and he kept pointing to it and calling it cheese. I told him it was mustard and did he want to try it. He said, “Yes.” I put it on his plate and he enjoyed dipping his hamburger into it.

Kolton had to have some too and decided he was going to eat it by itself. He even had two more squirts on his plate after his cheeseburger was gone. London could not be outdone so he said he wanted some too. He took a big bite swished it in his mouth, swallowed , screwed up his face and said, “YUCK!”
*************************************************************************************

Kristofer wanted Kolton/Igor to do something and Kolton/Igor was not playing along. Kristofer went after him saying, “IGOR RYAN…!” This is very funny because Kristofer’s middle name is Ryan so he thinks everyone should be called by their first name and then Ryan when they are in trouble.

2009-04-01T20:08:00.000-04:00

On March 14^th we met with Nadya Molina who is one of the top behavior therapists. (http://www.alternativebehaviors.com/) Our agency hosted her and Dr. Ronald Federici so parents could have one-on-one consults.

We talked to Nadya about all three of our boys, but the one we need the most help with is London/Sasha. She suggested that we reward positive behavior instead of negative. It is amazing how easy it is to reward the negative with attention (even if it is negative attention) then to take the time to reward positive attention. So when London tantrums we are to sit near him, but not look at him, and let him have his tantrum. I told her how stressful and annoying his scream/cry is and she suggested investing in a good iPod. I had my “Aha!” moment after reading Carla’s blog (http://bringingbabymorganhome.blogspot.com/2009/03/progress-report.html) where her son is now trying to get positive attention instead of negative. It gave me such hope.

We discussed how London fixates on words and she suggested that he has post institutionalized autism. For example we are all eating dinner and London finishes first. He wants his juice and I tell him he has to wait a minute until we are finished eating. So he sits and says “juice, juice, juice” like a broken record. It is amazing how unpleasant that is. The very cool part of PI Autism is that is it curable because it is a coping mechanism that he implemented to cope with the stress going on in his little life. Breaks your heart doesn’t it?

With Kristofer and Kolton we think they have an auditory processing disorder. With Kristofer he can be looking right at me while I’m talking and squint his eyes and say, “What you say mama?” With Kolton he stands there lost saying “Huh?” at a simple common one step command. Apparently, this comes from not enough language stimulation when they were young. We are currently trying to find a provider in our area to help us with this.

Something that Nadya said that was so encouraging was that we did not appear to play favorites with our boys. Kelly and I work so hard to treat them equal with love, attention and discipline and it was nice to hear we were actually doing it! My prayer is that our children always feel we do not favor one over the other.

Some efforts I/we are doing is when I’m talking to Kristofer and one of the little boys interrupts (typically London) I physically set London aside and tell him he has to wait because I am talking to Kristofer. I think this is helping Kristofer too because he sees the efforts we are making to listen to him and meet his needs.

Kelly and I have decided that we are going to pursue an assessment from Dr. Gregory Keck’s clinic in OH. http://www.abcofohio.net/

I called today and talked to a therapist about bringing our boys for an assessment and help with possible autism, attachment and bonding. We have to fill out a 19 page application for each boy and after it is mailed in they will get us an appointment pretty quick.

London has great fear of doors being closed on him, even the shower doors. If his brothers close them so they can splash London is in a terror screaming panic trying to claw his way out of the tub. This could be from a lot of isolation possibly in dark rooms.

When he first came home he would scream in terror at bath time. He would try to claw his way out of the tub and did not like water of any kind to touch him. It has been a slow process, but now he really enjoys his bath and will put his face under the water and “swim” around.

Apparently, when children act up they could get scalding water or freezing water put on them. Hearing things like this makes me want to adopt more kids as fast as I can. With the way London is quick to scream and tantrum I can only imagine the abuse that might have been inflicted on him. I just pray for the strength, wisdom and love to undo what has been done to my precious little boy.

Since January I have been so tired and I kept asking myself if it was a touch of depression. I just didn’t think that was it. I have since changed my mind though. As soon as Kelly and I decided to get help from the clinic I have not been tired and I am alive! I have the energy to play with my boys. I want to hug, cuddle and snuggle them. I want to make them laugh.

Please keep us in your prayers as we take steps to help heal our son. Now, about that 19 page application…

**********************************************************************************************

When I was preparing the boys dinner tonight I was cutting strawberries and putting them on their plate. I said, "Strawberries are Mmmm" and Kolton said, "Aaaaaaaameeen!" It was so cute.

2009-04-01T09:16:00.000-04:00

March 20, 2009

We got to spend a lovely day at the zoo with our friend Jake and his mom Daryn. The daffodils were in bloom so we were able to take our annual spring pictures. Aren't the boys getting so big?

Oops, the two little ones took a tumble.

I love this picture of Kristofer and Jake. Two little buds hanging out chatting.

Cat Fight!!!

The king of the zoo.

One little monkey...

I love how his hair is sticking up from the static.

The construction of the new polar bear exhibit was the highlight for my boys.

London was in the middle of telling me, "No, No, No!" He wanted to go down the steep big boy slide not this one.

Kolton has come along so far with his muscle tone. He was doing a great job of climbing up the slide.

This picture was not prompted by me at all. London puckered his lips asking Kolton for a kiss and Kolton obliged. I just happened to have the camera out and ready. What precious brotherly love.

Excellent climbing by both boys.

2009-03-28T23:36:00.000-04:00

February 16, 2009

Kristofer had his very first dentist appointment and had his teeth cleaned. I know he was scared, but he was so brave and let them clean his teeth. The best part was picking a prize out of the prize chest. He picked star shaped sunglasses.

She said he was missing spots on his front teeth when brushing so we needed to help him with that. Also the little piece of skin that connects from his lip to gum in the top front needs to be clipped. His extends all the way down to his teeth and if we leave it he will eventually get a gap in his two front teeth. Other than that his teeth are perfect with no cavities. I am very pleased indeed!

Kolton and London played with cars and behaved very well.

2009-03-28T21:55:00.000-04:00

January 27, 2009

Happy Birthday to me!

The weather was predicting snow on my birthday so my only wish was to wake up to a winter wonderland. All I have to say is, "Be careful what you wish for!!!"

We had about an inch of ice, several inches of snow and and about another inch of ice on top of that. It reminded me of Narnia and it was so beautiful. It would have been even more enjoyable if the power had stayed on.

Kristofer could not get outside fast enough to play in the snow.

London/Sasha: "What is this thing I'm in and I have to go where?"

The crew outside while mama was nice and toasty inside.

Kelly and Kristofer had to show Kolton and London how to crawl in the snow because their suits were too bulky and they fell.

One very cold and miserable London/Sasha.

Since the power was off we bundled them with extra blankets. They slept well and were snug as bugs in rugs.

The best part was the next night. The temperature had dropped enough we could not sleep in our beds so we got to go camping in the basement. I wish I had a picture of it, but I totally spaced it out.

Our basement is semi finished meaning the walls are up but the the floor is just concrete and the bathroom has plumbing, but it is just an empty room. We have a fireplace and we have some couches set up down there. We added a mattress for the little boys and me to sleep on. Kristofer slept on the small couch and Kelly slept on the large couch.

The boys had a grand time running around and playing with toys they had never played with before. We keep all the extra toys downstairs and rotate them upstairs so the boys are not overwhelmed and it keeps them interested in playing with them.

We stayed toasty warm because Kelly was up every 90 minutes adding wood to the fire. The next morning Kristofer was telling us how much fun he had. It will be a great memory for all of us...Maybe we will "camp out" down there more often just for the fun of it?

2009-03-16T10:41:00.000-04:00

January 25, 2009

This weekend we celebrated the boy's birthdays with our families. The boys got lots of great gifts and had a good time opening them and eating cake.

Today at nap time was rough for me. Sasha woke up and was asking for Papa. I was the only one around so I went in to get him. It is normal for him to stay laying down until I put my hand in the crib and then he will get up...lasting affects from being cribbed in the orphanage.
This time he turned his head to the wall. He would rather stay in his crib than come to mama! It was a very sharp dagger to my heart. I know I can't take it personally, but it hurts so much when your child rejects you like that. I think this weekend was too much and we had a major setback. I picked him up and loved on him even though he didn't want me to. I will be doing heavy attachment and bonding with him this week!

Kristofer and Kolton really enjoyed the bath crayons from Aunti Laura and Uncle Jason.

2009-03-15T14:53:00.000-04:00

January 21, 2008

London/Sasha is 2!

We celebrated London/Sasha's birthday tonight and of course the boys were in heaven being able to eat cupcakes again. We got him a dog that is a pull along toy and he loved it. He had lots of these types of toys in Russia and they seemed to be his favorite.

My sweet little Sasha,

Happy Birthday to you little guy. I know you don't fully trust me yet to take good care of you, but your trust for me grows more and more everyday. I am confident I will fully win your trust in the near future. I love your beautiful smile and it warms my heart. I am honored to me your mommy.

Love,

Mommy

2009-02-06T13:08:00.000-05:00

January 20, 2009

Today Kristofer turned 5!

I don't know what it is about 5 but I am having a hard time with it. I feel like my baby is all grown up and the time has just passed me by. It is so fun to see him learn and grow, but heartbreaking at the same time. I called the public school to see what we needed to do to sign him up for kindergarten in the fall and after I got off the phone had a good cry.

Dear Kristofer,

You are such a wonderful little boy and I love you so. You are my trial and my joy and I have learned so much from being your mommy. I am honored to have you call me mommy and hope we can learn a lot from each other in the years to come. Happy Birthday my little man.

Love,

Your mommy

Kristofer helping me make his special M&M cupcakes.

Make a wish!

Isn't that dirty face just kissable?

So happy to have another game to play on his computer.

Grandma Orr sent all the boys a card and $5 for their birthdays.
They were very excited!

2009-01-26T13:56:00.000-05:00

Today is proving to be a rough day so I thought I'd share a funny. Made me laugh and made my day a little brighter.

I'll be updating birthdays etc a little later.

2009-01-20T14:41:00.000-05:00

January 19, 2009

Mom and I had planned yesterday to take my boys and nephews to the aquarium. We did not check the weather so this is what we woke up to. Didn't stop us though! Kelly even took the day off so we got to have some great family time.
It was Sasha and Igor's 6 months anniversary home from Russia so what better way to celebrate than at the aquarium?!

When we first walked in there was a large fish tank. Igor was so excited to see them.
Sasha on the other hand was very scared through the whole thing. We are discovering that he has a hard time with new places and things. He likes to watch others do something first and then if he feels safe he will join in.

To keep Sasha above the chaos of people walking around Kelly put him on top of the stroller and pushed him around and showed him all the fish. Sasha really enjoyed it.

Kristofer had to "Raaaah at the shark painting.

Fish gazing.

Papa and Kristofer checking out the cool turtles.

Froggy ride!

Austin was so nice to take the little boys through the play place and down the slide.

Alex and Kristofer posing in the window.

Shark petting.

Instead of using two fingers to pet the sharks Austin used his whole hand and did a firm pet. The shark kept coming back for more!

Family photo!

2009-01-20T13:48:00.000-05:00

January 17, 2008

Today we went to Logan's birthday party at a place called Snappers and the kids had a blast. They had the big blow up slides, trampoline with budgie cords, and lots of other fun things.
Happy Birthday Logan and thanks for inviting us.

(Logan and Sasha were in the same room in their orphanage together. Logan came home a couple of weeks before Sasha.)

Logan and Kristofer had a ball on the trampoline.

Kristofer really enjoyed the huge jungle gym with the fastest slides ever!

It took Sasha a while to get on the blowup slide, but after seeing everyone else having so much fun he had to join in.

Igor got very tired and had to have a thumb break.

Sasha discovered himself in the mirror and had fun making faces at himself.

Love those books.

Sasha did a great job stacking the blocks.

2009-01-16T09:12:00.000-05:00

January 15, 2009

Happy Birthday Igor!!!

To my sweet little Igor,

Your personality is very happy go lucky and you enjoy reading books and playing quietly. You and your big brother Dima get along very well right now too. When he is gone for awhile and comes home the joy on your face is so sweet.

Your personality seems to be the “follower” and you are taking on your brother Sasha’s grumpy behavior. I am hoping this will be short lived and your happy personality will continue to shine through. I cannot imagine my life without you in it and I am so happy to be your mommy. These past 6 months that I have spent with you have been a joy.

Love,

Mommy

This evening we celebrated Igor’s 2^nd birthday. I made a new pork chop recipe (see end of post) that turned out awesome and we had cupcakes for dessert which the boys thoroughly enjoyed.

When Kelly got out the camera it triggered a tantrum from Sasha.

When I brought out the present Igor raised his hands up and said, “PREEEESENT!” He was so excited!

Papa had to help free the airplane since it is packaged like Ft. Knox.

Igor enjoyed flying it around the room.

We got a package in the mail yesterday and Kelly’s Aunt Carol made the boys blankets When the box was opened and Kelly said what was inside Sasha raised up his hands and started saying, “blankie!” it was the highlight of his night. Thank you Aunt Carol (Cinci)

Chops with Mushroom Gravy

½ cup flour

1 to 2 teaspoons paprika

1 ½ teaspoons salt

¼ pepper

6 to 8 boneless pork loin chops (1 inch thick)

¼ cup butter

1 med. Onion, chopped

½ cup green pepper, chopped

1 can (4 oz) mushrooms, drained

2 cups milk

2 tablespoons lemon juice

In a large resealable bag, combine the first four ingredients. Add pork chops, one at a time; toss to coat. Set remaining flour mixture aside. In a large skillet, sauté chops in butter until golden brown; transfer to a greased 9x13 baking dish.

In the same skillet, sauté onion, green pepper and mushrooms until tender. Stir in reserved flour mixture; gradually add milk until blended. Bring to a boil; cook and stir for 2 minutes or until thickened. Remove from the heat; stir in lemon juice. Pour over chops. Cover and bake at 350 degrees for 50-60 minutes or until is no longer pink. Serve with potatoes

Yield 6-8 servings

**Note**

This recipe could easily be cooked in the crock-pot. I would cook on low 3-4 hours or high for 2-3 hours.

You could substitute beef or chicken instead of pork chops.

2009-01-13T09:20:00.000-05:00

The Most Amazing Moment Yet!

(Listen to the song while you read this)

As you can imagine, we had some setbacks from Christmas with the boys. We were guessing about a 4 month set back. Sasha reverted back to tantrums and not talking and being even more manipulative with Kelly than before. Because of his tantrums it made Dima act out and Igor just reverted back into his own little world. I saw my family crumbling fast.

I never stopped asking God for help and praying for Him to help me be the best mother I could be to these boys, but the depression was creeping in. I knew I was headed down a road I had been on with Kristofer’s adoption and I did NOT want to be in that dark place again. Kelly knew I was having a rough time and was doing everything to help me too.

Nothing I was doing was enough to pull me out of it. I was exercising but stress eating and gained about 8lbs in a 2 week period. I was taking my B-vitamins and I still did not have the energy to deal with the kids. I was floating through the days and wasting precious time avoiding my children. I was grumpy and grouchy and so were they. Hmm, I wonder where they learned to do that?! I was too depressed to blog or even finish my post about Christmas!

I had chatted with a friend and told her I was desperate to find the light at the end of the tunnel. She responded with, “Go into the light…” My thoughts back were, “I can’t even see the light!”

I was mulling this over in my brain while taking a shower (my best prayer time) and asking God once again to please help me. I do not want to live in this darkness! And then it hit me like a ton of bricks. I can’t see the light (of Jesus) because I am allowing Satan to block it!

Man, that just TICKED me off inside! Satan has been whispering his dirty little lies to me about my children and I was DUMB enough to listen! I closed my eyes, pointed my finger at him and said (in my stearnest mommy voice of course), “I will not listen to you! You are a liar and I rebuke you in the name of Jesus! You have no hold on me! The blood of Jesus is more powerful than you and I rebuke you! You will leave me and my family alone!”

I am sure I cannot explain in words properly how I felt. The peace and true joy that came over me was AMAZING! I was suddenly ready to go out and spend time with my family and truly work with them on regaining ground from the set back. I had so much love to share with them.

In fact, Sasha tantrumed and instead of walking away and getting frustrated I was able to hold him through it and tell him I loved him and I was here for him. Through his 45 minute raging tantrum I had so much peace, peace that can only come from God.

This happened on Saturday and today I am still at peace and loving being a mother of still adjusting, post institutionalized boys who need my constant never changing love and guidance. The only credit I can give it to Jesus and his amazing blood he shed on the cross. It's power NEVER changes!

2009-01-02T20:02:00.001-05:00

Christmas Pictures

December 25, 2008

2008-12-20T13:52:00.000-05:00

December 12, 2008

We took the boys to have their picture with Santa and thought we'd sneak into his chair before he showed up. I had hoped it would help them to sit on his lap...

Nope, the little guys didn't like it one bit!

Kristofer always loves to talk to him though.
After Santa we went walking down the mall. The little boys were so enthralled with it all and Igor had to stop and look at EVERY display in EVERY window. It took a long time for us to walk down the mall hall.

We tried on hats that were too furry, but not too Russian...

Tried chairs that were too soft...

And played with tools that were just right.