Tuesday

My strength did come today!

It was still a VERY rough day, but the difference was I had the energy to attempt to deal with it. The only way to describe yesterday was Emotionally Dead. If I could have sat on the couch instead of taking care of the kids and staring into space I would have.

Thursday

It was a good day. Last night as I was grocery shopping by myself it dawned on me what the problem was. I was trying to change my discipline routine without having any consequences in place. If there are no consequences then you have an out-of-control child who will not listen. This resorted in me yelling and being visibly frustrated and all it did was tear down his self esteem. If you think you are doing your kids a favor or yourself for that matter, by not disciplining think again.

I brought back the smiley face chart last night and the result was amazing. As soon as we got home from shopping Kristofer did not listen to me about being quiet because his brothers were sleeping. Instead of getting mad and getting on to him about I just calmly told him, “Please remove a smiley face for not listening.” Wow, that got his attention! He listened and calmed down and finished helping us bring in the groceries and put them away. Before he went to bed that night he got 3 or 4 more smiley faces. He was beaming with pride. I have continued to use the chart today and it is working well.

While the boys were taking their naps Kristofer and I got to spend some good quality time together that we needed. First we played on pbskids.org and then went and made oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. I showed him how to measure things and he wanted to just pick up the flour bag and dump it in. I kept explaining that all this stuff makes cookies taste good, but if you don’t measure like the recipe says then they will taste gross. I also showed him how to read the measuring spoons.

About 6 or 8 times he thanked me for teaching him how to make cookies. I made sure I touched him a lot whether it was on his back or his arms or holding his hand helping him measure something. He needed that human touch more than I’m sure I’ll ever know. He needed to be assured that I love him. Sometimes a soft touch can say that better than the actual words. Remember that today as you parent your child.

Dinner time tonight got a little chaotic, but that is ok. We were having good family time and had to do some holds with the boys, but when it was time for bed we rocked the little ones to sleep and they both fell asleep in our arms. It was the first time since being home.

As soon as we stood up to put them in their cribs their eyes flew open. In all the times we rocked Kristofer to sleep he always stayed asleep. These poor boys still have their “fight or flight” systems going strong. Kelly and I agreed that they are like an outdoor cat who wakes at the slightest sound and Kristofer is like an indoor cat who can sleep through ANYTHING. I hope we are able to help them bring their stress levels down soon.

Friday

This morning was great. I got up at about 6:45am and took my shower and got ready for the day. The kids slept until 7:45! I was in shock. I actually got to have a cup of coffee and check my email before the crying for breakfast began. It was wonderful! I think God knew I needed that time and I thanked him very much for it.

Today I am dealing with not wanting to interact with my kids a whole lot. My house is a mess and it is driving me nuts. I can’t get it cleaned fast enough! The kids are under my feet of course and I just want my house clean so I can relax with them. I believe my avoiding them comes with having to put them in so many holds. It wears on you and you become “all touched out” meaning you don’t want to hold or touch anyone.

Everyone is taking a nap right now and I have been really asking the Lord to help me regroup, get the house cleaned and be ready to hold and love on my boys when they get up. I want to do what is right for them and help them bond.

Oh, something cool I forgot to mention is that we have started Sasha on a B-vitamin complex for stress. I take something called Nutri-Calm and it really helps me and it is b-vitamins as well. I am hoping Sasha’s stress level can be lowered and maybe he will stop crying so much. God love him!

Well, I am off to take some vitamins to boost my energy and help me stay stress free.