This verse keeps popping up on me when I read people's posts online. The latest was a friends status on facebook. I'm beginning to think God wants me to remember this verse. What do you think?

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." – Galatians 6:9

I am not giving up on my boys. God's love is stronger than any pain and trauma they have endured and it will heal all wounds. In the name of Jesus.

The Most Amazing Moment Yet!

(Listen to the song while you read this)

As you can imagine, we had some setbacks from Christmas with the boys. We were guessing about a 4 month set back. Sasha reverted back to tantrums and not talking and being even more manipulative with Kelly than before. Because of his tantrums it made Dima act out and Igor just reverted back into his own little world. I saw my family crumbling fast.

I never stopped asking God for help and praying for Him to help me be the best mother I could be to these boys, but the depression was creeping in. I knew I was headed down a road I had been on with Kristofer’s adoption and I did NOT want to be in that dark place again. Kelly knew I was having a rough time and was doing everything to help me too.

Nothing I was doing was enough to pull me out of it. I was exercising but stress eating and gained about 8lbs in a 2 week period. I was taking my B-vitamins and I still did not have the energy to deal with the kids. I was floating through the days and wasting precious time avoiding my children. I was grumpy and grouchy and so were they. Hmm, I wonder where they learned to do that?! I was too depressed to blog or even finish my post about Christmas!

I had chatted with a friend and told her I was desperate to find the light at the end of the tunnel. She responded with, “Go into the light…” My thoughts back were, “I can’t even see the light!”

I was mulling this over in my brain while taking a shower (my best prayer time) and asking God once again to please help me. I do not want to live in this darkness! And then it hit me like a ton of bricks. I can’t see the light (of Jesus) because I am allowing Satan to block it!

Man, that just TICKED me off inside! Satan has been whispering his dirty little lies to me about my children and I was DUMB enough to listen! I closed my eyes, pointed my finger at him and said (in my stearnest mommy voice of course), “I will not listen to you! You are a liar and I rebuke you in the name of Jesus! You have no hold on me! The blood of Jesus is more powerful than you and I rebuke you! You will leave me and my family alone!”

I am sure I cannot explain in words properly how I felt. The peace and true joy that came over me was AMAZING! I was suddenly ready to go out and spend time with my family and truly work with them on regaining ground from the set back. I had so much love to share with them.

In fact, Sasha tantrumed and instead of walking away and getting frustrated I was able to hold him through it and tell him I loved him and I was here for him. Through his 45 minute raging tantrum I had so much peace, peace that can only come from God.

This happened on Saturday and today I am still at peace and loving being a mother of still adjusting, post institutionalized boys who need my constant never changing love and guidance. The only credit I can give it to Jesus and his amazing blood he shed on the cross. It's power NEVER changes!

November 3, 2008

Today was a good day. With the time change we got up at 5:50am and the kids were ready to go. It made the day seem like forever, but man I got a ton done. Floors swept, moped and vacuumed, Laundry sorted, kids fed, diapers changed, etc My house was in tip top shape.

I got Kristofer to preschool on time and with no tantrums. The one tantrum we had earlier in the morning was due to Kristofer not eating soon enough and I think his blood sugar dropped. I made him have a time in on the kitchen floor next to me and when he calmed down we were able to get to the root of the problem.


After preschool we met up with our friends Elizabeth, Keira and Ally at the park. We walked the walking trail and let the kids play for a bit on the playground. When we were walking the trial Keira got tired so we put Igor in the bottom basket and let her have his seat. He thought it was grand riding down there. Sasha was fascinated with Igor being down there too.


Then we went to a K-mart near us that is closing. No good deals there. Bummer…Kristofer had seen a suitcase that had Lightning McQueen on it and wanted it. I told him I would think about it, but I was not buying it now. When we were in the car he was freaking out that it would not be there when I went back to buy it. I told him, “You know what I do when I want something, but I have to wait to buy it? I pray to Jesus about it. I tell Him how much I want it and ask if it is ment for me to have it can it still be there for me to buy?” I asked Kristofer if he wanted to pray about it and he said yes. We prayed right there in K-mart parking lot. So cute. However when we left the parking lot he was still carrying on about it and cried, I think, for a solid 20 minutes. Mama was less then amused about that, but I got through it with much love and patience shown to my little guy. That is huge for me these days. I feel like my patience is non-existent. Sigh…I am determined to get better though.

When we got home and dressed the boys in their PJ’s and put them all to bed. Igor was not asleep an hour and woke up crying. I think he might be having tummy issues or something.He has been doing this at nap time too.

He ended up sleeping in my arms for about 40 minutes and then the movie I was watching had someone beating on a door. He woke up with a start and was NOT going back to sleep. It is ok though because we have had a grand time. I let him finish watching the movie with me (yes it was appropriate) and then he helped me with the laundry I was working on. It was so nice to have some special one on one time with him. He is simply adorable. I have fallen in love with him that much more tonight.

As I am writing this blog entry he is sitting on my lap and yes it is 10:42pm. If I can't get him to go back to sleep in his bed when I go than I think I’ll just take him to bed with us tonight. Poor little tigger.