On March 14^th we met with Nadya Molina who is one of the top behavior therapists. (http://www.alternativebehaviors.com/) Our agency hosted her and Dr. Ronald Federici so parents could have one-on-one consults.

We talked to Nadya about all three of our boys, but the one we need the most help with is London/Sasha. She suggested that we reward positive behavior instead of negative. It is amazing how easy it is to reward the negative with attention (even if it is negative attention) then to take the time to reward positive attention. So when London tantrums we are to sit near him, but not look at him, and let him have his tantrum. I told her how stressful and annoying his scream/cry is and she suggested investing in a good iPod. I had my “Aha!” moment after reading Carla’s blog (http://bringingbabymorganhome.blogspot.com/2009/03/progress-report.html) where her son is now trying to get positive attention instead of negative. It gave me such hope.

We discussed how London fixates on words and she suggested that he has post institutionalized autism. For example we are all eating dinner and London finishes first. He wants his juice and I tell him he has to wait a minute until we are finished eating. So he sits and says “juice, juice, juice” like a broken record. It is amazing how unpleasant that is. The very cool part of PI Autism is that is it curable because it is a coping mechanism that he implemented to cope with the stress going on in his little life. Breaks your heart doesn’t it?

With Kristofer and Kolton we think they have an auditory processing disorder. With Kristofer he can be looking right at me while I’m talking and squint his eyes and say, “What you say mama?” With Kolton he stands there lost saying “Huh?” at a simple common one step command. Apparently, this comes from not enough language stimulation when they were young. We are currently trying to find a provider in our area to help us with this.

Something that Nadya said that was so encouraging was that we did not appear to play favorites with our boys. Kelly and I work so hard to treat them equal with love, attention and discipline and it was nice to hear we were actually doing it! My prayer is that our children always feel we do not favor one over the other.

Some efforts I/we are doing is when I’m talking to Kristofer and one of the little boys interrupts (typically London) I physically set London aside and tell him he has to wait because I am talking to Kristofer. I think this is helping Kristofer too because he sees the efforts we are making to listen to him and meet his needs.

Kelly and I have decided that we are going to pursue an assessment from Dr. Gregory Keck’s clinic in OH. http://www.abcofohio.net/

I called today and talked to a therapist about bringing our boys for an assessment and help with possible autism, attachment and bonding. We have to fill out a 19 page application for each boy and after it is mailed in they will get us an appointment pretty quick.

London has great fear of doors being closed on him, even the shower doors. If his brothers close them so they can splash London is in a terror screaming panic trying to claw his way out of the tub. This could be from a lot of isolation possibly in dark rooms.

When he first came home he would scream in terror at bath time. He would try to claw his way out of the tub and did not like water of any kind to touch him. It has been a slow process, but now he really enjoys his bath and will put his face under the water and “swim” around.

Apparently, when children act up they could get scalding water or freezing water put on them. Hearing things like this makes me want to adopt more kids as fast as I can. With the way London is quick to scream and tantrum I can only imagine the abuse that might have been inflicted on him. I just pray for the strength, wisdom and love to undo what has been done to my precious little boy.

Since January I have been so tired and I kept asking myself if it was a touch of depression. I just didn’t think that was it. I have since changed my mind though. As soon as Kelly and I decided to get help from the clinic I have not been tired and I am alive! I have the energy to play with my boys. I want to hug, cuddle and snuggle them. I want to make them laugh.

Please keep us in your prayers as we take steps to help heal our son. Now, about that 19 page application…

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When I was preparing the boys dinner tonight I was cutting strawberries and putting them on their plate. I said, "Strawberries are Mmmm" and Kolton said, "Aaaaaaaameeen!" It was so cute.