We have had a great weekend. Kelly and I worked together to keep Kristofer occupied with activities and if we needed a moment he could pick between playing in rice box (indoor sand box only with rice) or playing with his trains. I also got to use the “Oops” instead of “no” and it is amazing how it works. Normally, when I start my sentence telling him no it makes him spiral further out of control. So far this is the best weekend since coming home.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Sunday, November 09, 2008
Posted by Anonymous on my Oct. 19th post:
“try staying a little more low key. these boys are clearly having issues with so much stuff going on. They are probably really FREAKED out from all of the activity and over stimulations.”
To Anonymous:
Not to worry, we are keeping things very low key for our guys. The pictures you are seeing are the few times we have ventured out. We have had a very strict and regimented time since our boys have come home about mid July.
I am a stay-at-home mom and for the most part we stay home. In the four months they have been home I have taken them to the zoo twice, the park twice and the grocery store a few times because we NEEDED things. As you can see I am keeping them home so they can feel safe and secure as much as possible. I am curious, what makes you think we are being too active and over stimulating them? If it is something we can improve on I’m all for it.
Since they are getting so much more comfortable and attached to us we are starting to take them out in public. It is in very small doses, but they do have to learn that there is more to life than the 4 walls of our home. We do watch their faces and respond to their stress. We hold and comfort them so they come to see us as their comfort and support.
We are also very careful about people getting in their space and holding them. It is not allowed and we tell people so. I am so amazed by people who get in a child’s space and when the child resists the adult just keeps on. PEOPLE take cues from kids! If they don’t like you touching them don’t force it!
I really do appreciate your concern though. There are so many families who do not take the time to let their children adjust before they send them off to daycare or the care of family members who are strangers. We are committed to our children’s bonding and attachment.
November 7, 2008
Yesterday we traveled to our agency to see an attachment/behavioral therapist Rick Sudsberry. (http://www.saccc.com/) It was so wonderful to get some guidance on how to handle the “little” things that are making our life difficult…hehe No pun intended.
Yesterday we traveled to our agency to see an attachment/behavioral therapist Rick Sudsberry. (http://www.saccc.com/) It was so wonderful to get some guidance on how to handle the “little” things that are making our life difficult…hehe No pun intended.
- When Kristofer starts spiraling out of control instead of saying “No! Now you stop that right now.” I have been instructed to replace “no” with “oops”. So I would say, “Oops, since you are not able to get control of yourself you need to come and sit by mommy.” (For a time in) I believe as parents we tend to use the word “no” way too often. I know I needed to change that, but I didn’t know what to replace it with.
- How important our smell is to our children. Our boys are learning our smell when we hold them. Since we are a comfort our smell becomes a comfort. Kelly and I have been reflecting on our childhood smells. He said he remembered his mom having him sleep on her coat of they went somewhere and he said it smelled like her so it was a comfort and he can remember being so relaxed with it. My mom said she remembers sleeping in her dad’s t-shirts and how nice it was. I can also remember what a comfort it was when something smelled like my parents. What do you remember? Was it comforting to you?
- We should play games with the boys where there is surprise involved. All of the surprise so far in their life has been bad. We want to show them that surprise can be good.
- With Igor waking after 1 hour it could be because his cortisol levels are high. They have to come down for a child to sleep and not have nightmares.
- When we feed them we need to have them on our lap so they associate comfort and nurturing with us. It will help build a relationship with people instead of the food. This goes for juice in a sippy cup too. They should sit on our lap. Since we have two to feed we need to alternate holding them.
November 4, 2008
We are getting a new roof put on our house and the roofer was backing up his trailer and ran it right into the fire hydrant that is in our yard. He is not the first person to hit it but he was the one to break it. Water started gushing out so the water company had to come and fix the pipes. It was the highlight of my three boy’s day to have a backhoe digger in our yard!
Did I tell you there was a real live dump truck too?!
Kristofer did take the time for the little things. He had to check out the cool caterpillar.
November 3, 2008
Today was a good day. With the time change we got up at 5:50am and the kids were ready to go. It made the day seem like forever, but man I got a ton done. Floors swept, moped and vacuumed, Laundry sorted, kids fed, diapers changed, etc My house was in tip top shape.
I got Kristofer to preschool on time and with no tantrums. The one tantrum we had earlier in the morning was due to Kristofer not eating soon enough and I think his blood sugar dropped. I made him have a time in on the kitchen floor next to me and when he calmed down we were able to get to the root of the problem.
After preschool we met up with our friends Elizabeth, Keira and Ally at the park. We walked the walking trail and let the kids play for a bit on the playground. When we were walking the trial Keira got tired so we put Igor in the bottom basket and let her have his seat. He thought it was grand riding down there. Sasha was fascinated with Igor being down there too.
Then we went to a K-mart near us that is closing. No good deals there. Bummer…Kristofer had seen a suitcase that had Lightning McQueen on it and wanted it. I told him I would think about it, but I was not buying it now. When we were in the car he was freaking out that it would not be there when I went back to buy it. I told him, “You know what I do when I want something, but I have to wait to buy it? I pray to Jesus about it. I tell Him how much I want it and ask if it is ment for me to have it can it still be there for me to buy?” I asked Kristofer if he wanted to pray about it and he said yes. We prayed right there in K-mart parking lot. So cute. However when we left the parking lot he was still carrying on about it and cried, I think, for a solid 20 minutes. Mama was less then amused about that, but I got through it with much love and patience shown to my little guy. That is huge for me these days. I feel like my patience is non-existent. Sigh…I am determined to get better though.
When we got home and dressed the boys in their PJ’s and put them all to bed. Igor was not asleep an hour and woke up crying. I think he might be having tummy issues or something.He has been doing this at nap time too.
He ended up sleeping in my arms for about 40 minutes and then the movie I was watching had someone beating on a door. He woke up with a start and was NOT going back to sleep. It is ok though because we have had a grand time. I let him finish watching the movie with me (yes it was appropriate) and then he helped me with the laundry I was working on. It was so nice to have some special one on one time with him. He is simply adorable. I have fallen in love with him that much more tonight.
As I am writing this blog entry he is sitting on my lap and yes it is 10:42pm. If I can't get him to go back to sleep in his bed when I go than I think I’ll just take him to bed with us tonight. Poor little tigger.
Today was a good day. With the time change we got up at 5:50am and the kids were ready to go. It made the day seem like forever, but man I got a ton done. Floors swept, moped and vacuumed, Laundry sorted, kids fed, diapers changed, etc My house was in tip top shape.
I got Kristofer to preschool on time and with no tantrums. The one tantrum we had earlier in the morning was due to Kristofer not eating soon enough and I think his blood sugar dropped. I made him have a time in on the kitchen floor next to me and when he calmed down we were able to get to the root of the problem.
After preschool we met up with our friends Elizabeth, Keira and Ally at the park. We walked the walking trail and let the kids play for a bit on the playground. When we were walking the trial Keira got tired so we put Igor in the bottom basket and let her have his seat. He thought it was grand riding down there. Sasha was fascinated with Igor being down there too.
Then we went to a K-mart near us that is closing. No good deals there. Bummer…Kristofer had seen a suitcase that had Lightning McQueen on it and wanted it. I told him I would think about it, but I was not buying it now. When we were in the car he was freaking out that it would not be there when I went back to buy it. I told him, “You know what I do when I want something, but I have to wait to buy it? I pray to Jesus about it. I tell Him how much I want it and ask if it is ment for me to have it can it still be there for me to buy?” I asked Kristofer if he wanted to pray about it and he said yes. We prayed right there in K-mart parking lot. So cute. However when we left the parking lot he was still carrying on about it and cried, I think, for a solid 20 minutes. Mama was less then amused about that, but I got through it with much love and patience shown to my little guy. That is huge for me these days. I feel like my patience is non-existent. Sigh…I am determined to get better though.
When we got home and dressed the boys in their PJ’s and put them all to bed. Igor was not asleep an hour and woke up crying. I think he might be having tummy issues or something.He has been doing this at nap time too.
He ended up sleeping in my arms for about 40 minutes and then the movie I was watching had someone beating on a door. He woke up with a start and was NOT going back to sleep. It is ok though because we have had a grand time. I let him finish watching the movie with me (yes it was appropriate) and then he helped me with the laundry I was working on. It was so nice to have some special one on one time with him. He is simply adorable. I have fallen in love with him that much more tonight.
As I am writing this blog entry he is sitting on my lap and yes it is 10:42pm. If I can't get him to go back to sleep in his bed when I go than I think I’ll just take him to bed with us tonight. Poor little tigger.
November 1, 2008
Not quite sure what happened here, but they were not happy!
Kelly took Kristofer to his brother's house and got these cool cowboy pictures.
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